tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53372634043525750092011-11-15T20:48:11.714-08:00Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.comBlogger131100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-41173385156608919512011-03-10T15:34:00.001-08:002011-03-10T15:40:20.447-08:00What are you waiting for?<br />Who is she?<br />Is she Prettier?<br />Is she smarter?<br />Is she taller?<br />Is she less of a mess?<br />Is she more attentive?<br />Is she thinner?<br />Does she speak more eloquently?<br />Is her hair longer?<br />Is she more stable?<br />Less quirky?<br />Is she childless?<br />Does she have more freedom?<br />Is she less damaged?<br />Does she have a college degree?<br />Are her eyes bluer?<br />Is she more graceful?<br />Who is she....and why is she better than me?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-4117338515660891951?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-56850304914863819132011-01-26T12:49:00.000-08:002011-01-26T13:04:28.103-08:00hanging head<br />deep sigh<br />tears falling<br />pacing the room<br />swallowed by loneliness<br />pouring my confusion out on the floor<br />nothing fits together<br />an unpossible merging<br />i sit<br />i stand<br />i wretch<br />i ache<br />the sparkle in my eye<br />it's only a tear<br />that color blue<br />its sadness beyond the seas<br />my affliction, its lonely<br />i need more<br />self sabotage and a smiling wall<br />a thin and tender defense<br />a beaten soul<br />bleeding memories slowly into an atmosphere of shit and sky<br />moving steadily into further reaches of instability<br />kindly step aside please<br />i need to fall on my proverbial face<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-5685030491486381913?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-26592405665833254842010-12-06T21:01:00.000-08:002010-12-06T22:13:20.683-08:00My blanket of bricks weighs heavy<br />I'm waiting patiently<br />The mask of smiles is wearing thin<br />I'm starting to show through<br /><br />Washing the blue from my eyes<br />and the blood from my hands<br />I see through the ripples to the sand<br />Reaching deeply, going head first<br />I've lost my grip.<br /><br />Letting go of reality<br />Making peace with inner chaos<br />It has become my normality<br />Please leave me my sanity<br /><br />My spine, it's numb<br />Bending over backwards is more painful than ever<br />I expect nothing<br />I'm never hurt<br /><br />My love for you it's unwavering<br />Do you see me here?<br />I'm standing, shaking, crying<br />You'll love me, I know it<br />I feel you, I see you<br />You're walking away<br />You passed me by<br />Again, you look through me<br />I'm amazing, didn't you know?<br />I thought someone told you...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-2659240566583325484?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-88650596686860208862010-04-19T14:00:00.000-07:002010-04-19T14:37:11.163-07:00the cool evening breeze presses my hair to my face<div>our fingers intertwined and hands warm</div><div>looking at me, you smile</div><div>my eyes smile back</div><div>steps, one in front of the other</div><div>quietly we know.</div><div><br /></div><div>laying on the grass</div><div>i feel it gently tickling my neck</div><div>bare feet and soft kisses</div><div>my heart smiles</div><div>sun setting, moon rising</div><div>silently enjoying the dusk</div><div>quietly we know. </div><div><br /></div><div>deep river, warm water</div><div>mud between our toes</div><div>illuminating our bodies, the moon bathes in his reflection</div><div>wrapped up in your arms</div><div>skin to skin</div><div>face to face</div><div>slow breathing, hearts beating</div><div>quietly we know.</div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-8865059668686020886?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-33780697306595564122010-02-17T15:42:00.000-08:002010-02-17T15:55:36.912-08:00<div>an equal and opposite reaction, i beg to differ</div><div>the ceiling is coming down on top of me</div><div>im not sure im going to react</div><div>out and breathing</div><div>in and buried</div><div>i cant decide</div><div>my eyes, the sun</div><div>are those real tears?</div><div>where am i</div><div>who am i</div><div>what am i doing here</div><div>who are you</div><div>do i know you</div><div>maybe you wont hurt me</div><div>should i chance it</div><div>i have to stop talking to myself</div><div>im in the dark</div><div>whos hand is that</div><div>where are you taking me</div><div>i'll go with you</div><div>it doesnt matter where</div><div>its just out of reach</div><div>climbing, bleeding, shaking</div><div>its too high</div><div>fallen into this heap</div><div>shallow, raspy breathing</div><div>im buried</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-3378069730659556412?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-64228719289836642332009-12-06T19:47:00.000-08:002009-12-06T20:04:01.644-08:00Control, it's gone<br />I'm not driving anymore<br />I've let it take me<br />I've never lost control before<br />Drowning in your energy<br />With your touch, I'm spinning<br />Eyes closed, I see you<br />Life is not a malfunction<br />I want to live<br />No one looks at me the way you do<br />Nobody says what you say<br />I think somehow I always knew you<br />I know you exist<br />I've seen you, heard you, touched you<br />Is this my own manufactured idea<br />Is this real<br />Slowly moving forward<br />I want to keep you.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-6422871928983664233?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-91924976213541045052009-09-15T15:05:00.000-07:002009-09-15T15:23:56.211-07:00Waking, Walking forward in shame...<br />Over and over again.<br />Not knowing what's best,<br />Tears me apart.<br />Lonely and writhing in a permanent state of confusion.<br />Standing, waiting for something, someone...somewhere.<br />Water slips through my fingers as I am left with hands.<br />Only you can save me, Only you know who I am.<br />Slowly falling, slipping, sliding...away from what I believe.<br />Once strong, full, and forward, now meek, weak and sad.<br />Make way for what is, what might be and what could be.<br />Fill it with grief, loneliness and tears...<br />Kill the dream, crush the reality, make it all disappear.<br />What's real, what's good, what's right is wrong.<br />I long for solid ground.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-9192497621354104505?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-57493496949251438932009-05-03T18:10:00.000-07:002009-05-03T18:25:47.225-07:00I sat and I stared<br />I saw them go through the motions<br />Keeping face for us all<br />Being strong when all I could do was cry<br /><br />He wasn't mine to mourn<br />Yet I mourn him anyway<br />I hold a deep silent sympathy<br />For them, for him<br /><br />I watched him as I walked away<br />Still keeping face<br />I know what he feels<br />Screaming and writhing inside<br /><br />I looked back one last time<br />Just to check that face<br />A solemn constant in a state of confusion<br />and held up seemingly with the wings of angels<br /><br />I said goodbye.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-5749349694925143893?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-87848426438289654342009-04-15T19:32:00.000-07:002009-04-15T19:39:48.431-07:00One time,<br />I want to smile without suffering behind it<br />I want to run without being knocked down<br />I want to breathe without worry<br />I want wake up and just be<br />I want to sing without hesitation<br /><br />One time,<br />I want to walk without a glance over my shoulder<br />I want to give without need to receive<br />I want to speak without censor<br />I want to cry without remorse<br />I want to provide without struggle<br /><br />One time,<br />I want to live.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-8784842643828965434?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-72228404948686134482009-02-12T19:18:00.000-08:002009-02-12T19:25:58.862-08:00you used to be you<br /><br />now you spit nails<br /><br />i ache for the past<br /><br />while you push me<br /><br />i feel broken<br /><br />ashamed<br /><br />tired and hungry<br /><br />though i'm not starving<br /><br />i need air<br /><br />i need freedom<br /><br />i long to find what makes me happy now<br /><br />you have changed<br /><br />i miss what you used to be<br /><br />cry it all out<br /><br />the resentment and hate<br /><br />i know how you feel<br /><br />bitter and hurt<br /><br />now i suffer from myself<br /><br />inexcusable and shameful<br /><br />i blame me.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-7222840494868613448?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-18698413275844114552008-07-11T18:10:00.000-07:002008-07-11T18:19:22.404-07:00Death tugs at my ear and whispers "Live! I am coming." -Virgil<br /><br />He taps my shoulder and spits in my face as I turn and face him.<br />He makes me feel like I have been sabotaged by my own thoughts.<br />I want to live. I want to breathe. <br /><br />I want him to know that I am winning.<br />Him with hands over ears and eyes of stone.<br />He listens naught.<br />I will live. I will breathe.<br /><br />He haunts my dreams. He lives in my soul.<br />Churning in filth and fire.<br />I am alive. He is shriveling.<br />He is wasting away.<br />I am living. I am breathing.<br /><br />I am winning.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-1869841327584411455?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-62286928255585646452008-03-24T16:57:00.000-07:002008-03-24T17:06:10.147-07:00I lay quietly for many years<br />I feel something<br />My bed softens<br />I expand ever so slightly<br />With the increasing humidity<br />More now, stronger<br />The cool water flows over my dry brittle bones<br />I am lifted up<br />Traveling through the soft wet soil<br />I reach the top and gasp for air<br />I feel nothing, my lungs a memory<br />I remember.<br />I can see the world around me<br />I float by your children<br />I feel you watching me<br />No longer trapped by pine and dirt<br />I know that is where I belong<br />I reach out, feel nothing<br />I go where the current takes me<br />I rest when she rests<br />I have a new home<br />Only after my identity is gone<br />No one will ever know the life I lived<br />The ocean was my home<br />I tasted that today.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-6228692825558564645?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337263404352575009.post-49002621602422662672008-03-11T17:58:00.000-07:002009-05-04T19:06:44.881-07:00No readers as of yet. My thoughts, my musings, my opinions. Unedited, unscripted, untouched.<br /><br />My name is Lessa and it's nice to meet you........:)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5337263404352575009-4900262160242266267?l=picayune621.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lessa......http://www.blogger.com/profile/09189275803404577209noreply@blogger.com0