then and now

you used to be you

now you spit nails

i ache for the past

while you push me

i feel broken

ashamed

tired and hungry

though i'm not starving

i need air

i need freedom

i long to find what makes me happy now

you have changed

i miss what you used to be

cry it all out

the resentment and hate

i know how you feel

bitter and hurt

now i suffer from myself

inexcusable and shameful

i blame me.