Bricks

I sat and I stared
I saw them go through the motions
Keeping face for us all
Being strong when all I could do was cry

He wasn't mine to mourn
Yet I mourn him anyway
I hold a deep silent sympathy
For them, for him

I watched him as I walked away
Still keeping face
I know what he feels
Screaming and writhing inside

I looked back one last time
Just to check that face
A solemn constant in a state of confusion
and held up seemingly with the wings of angels

I said goodbye.

Just One Time

One time,
I want to smile without suffering behind it
I want to run without being knocked down
I want to breathe without worry
I want wake up and just be
I want to sing without hesitation

One time,
I want to walk without a glance over my shoulder
I want to give without need to receive
I want to speak without censor
I want to cry without remorse
I want to provide without struggle

One time,
I want to live.

then and now

you used to be you

now you spit nails

i ache for the past

while you push me

i feel broken

ashamed

tired and hungry

though i'm not starving

i need air

i need freedom

i long to find what makes me happy now

you have changed

i miss what you used to be

cry it all out

the resentment and hate

i know how you feel

bitter and hurt

now i suffer from myself

inexcusable and shameful

i blame me.

Dreaming

Death tugs at my ear and whispers "Live! I am coming." -Virgil

He taps my shoulder and spits in my face as I turn and face him.
He makes me feel like I have been sabotaged by my own thoughts.
I want to live. I want to breathe.

I want him to know that I am winning.
Him with hands over ears and eyes of stone.
He listens naught.
I will live. I will breathe.

He haunts my dreams. He lives in my soul.
Churning in filth and fire.
I am alive. He is shriveling.
He is wasting away.
I am living. I am breathing.

I am winning.

Flood

I lay quietly for many years
I feel something
My bed softens
I expand ever so slightly
With the increasing humidity
More now, stronger
The cool water flows over my dry brittle bones
I am lifted up
Traveling through the soft wet soil
I reach the top and gasp for air
I feel nothing, my lungs a memory
I remember.
I can see the world around me
I float by your children
I feel you watching me
No longer trapped by pine and dirt
I know that is where I belong
I reach out, feel nothing
I go where the current takes me
I rest when she rests
I have a new home
Only after my identity is gone
No one will ever know the life I lived
The ocean was my home
I tasted that today.

The Beginning

No readers as of yet. My thoughts, my musings, my opinions. Unedited, unscripted, untouched.

My name is Lessa and it's nice to meet you........:)