happy new year

hanging head
deep sigh
tears falling
pacing the room
swallowed by loneliness
pouring my confusion out on the floor
nothing fits together
an unpossible merging
i sit
i stand
i wretch
i ache
the sparkle in my eye
it's only a tear
that color blue
its sadness beyond the seas
my affliction, its lonely
i need more
self sabotage and a smiling wall
a thin and tender defense
a beaten soul
bleeding memories slowly into an atmosphere of shit and sky
moving steadily into further reaches of instability
kindly step aside please
i need to fall on my proverbial face